The Hell Yeah or No, the Fuck Yes Or No: The New Mantra To Live By
Have you heard of the Hell Yeah! or No mantra? How about Fuck Yes or No?
Derek Sivers, musician, producer, entrepreneur, TED speaker and book publisher, started the conversation with his blog post Hell Yeah, encouraging people who may often be over-committed or too scattered to use the rule, "if you're not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, say “no”." As Derek explains, "We’re all busy. We’ve all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out." After growing and selling his business CD Baby, Derek learnt a thing or two about the keys to success and the philosophies behind making big decisions. The Hell Yeah rule can be applied to business, by all means, but it can also be used in every day life.
Inspired by Derek, NYTimes bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, blogger, internet entrepreneur, thinker and life enthusiast, Mark Manson used this rule to devise a new mantra to live by, specifically looking to dating: Fuck Yes or No.
Keeping the focus on relationships for the moment, Mark hits the nail on the head with just how frustrating and confusing that grey area of dating can be, when we we are struggling to work out someone's feelings, when we don't know we stand with someone, when we're straddling that line between constantly analysing their behaviour and actually behaving, living, and enjoying a relationship together.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
Mark has developed this simple law to live by to get rid of all of this confusion and grey area: to listen to yourself and decide is the answer a Fuck Yes or No. Enough of prolonging flat relationships that aren't going anywhere, settling for mediocre, suffering rejections or being strung along, ghosting and playing hard to get. By trying out this mantra, in both your relationships and friendships, there is the scope to give yourself a new found sense of freedom, happiness, and fuck yes!
It's not all about relationships either. The Hell Yeah or No, the Fuck Yes or No, they can both be applied to all scenarios in life. It's not about putting you under pressure to make a snap decision. Naturally, some decisions will take longer than others. However, it's an invigorating way to work out what your true intentions are. How you really feel about a situation. Never let it limit you, but if you have a tendency to put off making decisions, a habit of saying yes to things you really don't want to do, or an inability to commit, have a think in your head whether your initial reaction is a hell yeah or a no, and it might just steer you in the right direction.